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Why Doesn't My Life Look Like Her Life

  • Writer: Gabby Cohn
    Gabby Cohn
  • Nov 23, 2020
  • 4 min read


One thought after another and another and another. You begin wondering why you don't have the life you think you should have. Why does she have such a great group of friends? Why is she the one who was able to find someone she loves? Why does her outfit look so clean and effortless? Why doesn't my life look like her life? Whatever the "why" or the "what" is, we have all experienced this type of thinking. My heart typically turns towards depression and comparison. I seek what I do not have and I question God's goodness in my own life. I want what I do not have and I hold others to a standard of unattainable perfection. However, this is nothing new to our world. In fact, the 10th commandment in the Bible calls us not to covet. Lets take a look at 3 things I have learned about coveting in this season of my life.


There are 5 specific resources that have encouraged me in this season of jealousy. First, a book called Get Out of Your Head by Jeanie Allen, a video by Tiffany Dawn on YouTube called Lonely Guilt, a sermon by Timothy Keller titled Honey from the Rock, the book of Job from the Bible, and sweet friendships/mentors who have pushed me towards Jesus. Before I get into my points I have to give credit to these resources because we do not fight these battles alone; we are called to learn from one another (Colossians 3:16). I have attached links to these resources below.


Point 1: Cling To What is True


A lot of jealousy stems from little lies whispered by the devil (the enemy) into our vulnerable ears. He lurks in the shadows waiting for us to slip and fall into jealousy and a deep desire for what others have. "She just gets everything" he whispers, or, "God doesn't really see you does he?" and worst of all, "You don't deserve what she has because you are not good enough." It seems like it never ends. Yet, these are all lies. These things are not true. The Bible tells us otherwise. The Bible says in Psalm 139 that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It says that every page of our story was written by God before we were born. It says in 1 John 3:16 that Christ died for you and for me and that we are called, not to covet, but to lay down our lives for our brothers. This is the truth of the Bible. That we cling to what is true and we worship God while doing it. This has been the hardest thing for me to grasp. It requires work on my part. It requires prayer and scripture meditation and daily dependence on the Holy Spirit. This point really brings to light the aspects of spiritual discipline. Praying, reading the Bible, confessing sin, and going to church. As we draw near to God he will draw near to us (James 4:8) and He will shield us from the enemy. So, begin by placing one foot in front of the other and take the next step toward clinging to what is true.


Point 2: Thankfulness


I know I know, its 2020. What the heck do you have to be thankful for? Ha, that is another lie. The Bible commands us to be thankful in all that we do. Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." No one ever seems to remember the thankful part of that verse. Or, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." We are called to be thankful. Thank God for what you already have amidst asking Him for other things; you may just realize that He has already given you what you need. I know people who have next to nothing and then I complain about such foolish things. In the Hiding Place by Corie Ten Boom we read about a woman who walked through concentration camps and still gave glory to God. So, what is stopping us from thanking Jesus?


Point 3: Focus on You


In John 21:21-22 we read, "When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” Peter was asking Jesus about one of his fellow disciples. He wanted to know the "T" about the other guys. Peter was not looking at his own relationship with Jesus or his own ministry, but he was comparing himself to others. And Jesus response? Worry about yourself Peter. I struggle with this one A LOT. It is way too easy to look at other people and judge them. It is way too easy to look at other people and want to be them. It is way too easy to look at other people and compare yourself to them. We don't ask the question: what can I do? Am I spending the time with God that I should be spending with him? Am I serving my friends/family as Christ did? Is there sin Jesus is showing me I need to be working on? Am I being thankful in what God has given me? We blame and we compare and the devil has a field day with our hearts. No more. Stop being a victim. Focus on you.


To conclude, we must cling to what is true, be thankful, and focus on ourselves if we want to glorify God amidst being jealous. I am grateful for all I have learned but is so much easier written than done. One day at a time, one choice at a time. But, I choose to put this sin in the light and to run to my heavenly Father who has grace and love for me. A Father who has promised to make me look more like Jesus each day.






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