Rest in God's grace?
- Gabby Cohn
- Dec 2, 2020
- 3 min read
"Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, Lord, are good."
Psalm 25:6-7
I finally hit rock bottom in my mind. One thought after another. Shame, guilt, hurt, and sadness have filled my heart over this past year. Every mistake I have ever made has been at the forefront of my mind. I have been drowning and numbing everything out with Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, Ben Shapiro... you name it. I have not been fully honest with myself and others about what I have been truly feeling; lonely and lost. I kept thinking that God wanted me in a certain place before I came to Him with my whole heart. I need my life together. I'm not keeping up. I should've read through the whole Bible by now. I need to get enough sleep before I truly approach God. There I was, listening to the lies of the devil and trying to earn God's grace for me. Fortunately, as my church has come together to fast from various distractions, God has opened up my eyes to yet another piece of His grace.
"God, I am a sinner. What does it mean to accept your grace? What? I'm confused, I am ashamed. I have hurt people. I have been selfish. I am lonely. I repeat the gospel, but the shame still seems so much to bear." I was finally honest. I brought this not only to God but to my dear friends and family. They kept telling me to trust in God's grace and genuinely seek the Lord's forgiveness." So, it seems that God has decided to use this break from distraction to respond to me loud and clear. I could hear him say to me:
Come as you are.
Yeah. I am a sinner. Through and through. So are you. But, that is the beauty here. I am selfish and lazy and mischievous and I hurt people and I will make mistakes until the day that I die. But what Jesus says to me is: come as you are. He says, " I love you (Insert name here). I loved you before you were born (Psalm 139) and I loved you knowing that you would come into the world and sin against me. I do not love your sin but I not only forgiven your sin; I remember it no more (Acts 3:19). I love all that you are because I specifically designed you for my purpose (Luke 8:38-39). You were forgiven from the very start. I took your shame on the cross because I have chosen you and have already accepted you (1 Thess. 1:4). You cannot earn what I have already given to you. Acceptance. Grace. I chose you as you were. A sinner. You cannot earn anything more by your own works. Abide in me, not to earn my love, but to live by it (John15:1-27). Come as you are." What an answer.
A story came to mind as I clung to this grace. In Luke 8 there is miracle performed by Jesus for a man named Legion who had many demons in his body. After Jesus cast out the demons, Legion sat at His feet. He begged to stay with Jesus and the disciples but Jesus said, "Return home and tell how much God has done for you. (v. 39)” It was only by God's grace that this man could live his life and do the will of God. Dear friend, it is only by God's grace that we can do anything. Jesus went to Legion as he was; desperate, lonely, and possessed. God had a plan for that man's life, as he has a plan for you and for me. It may not be exactly what we ask for in the moment, but He knows exactly what we need and where we need to be. Come as you are.
Further Reflection:
Read: Psalm 25, Luke 8
Pray: Ask Jesus to open up your whole heart to him. Ask Him to reveal distractions in your life that you know are pulling you away from him. Repent, but repent knowing that you are forgiven. Thank him for accepting you as you are.
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