Christian Gossip and Groupthink

*** Disclaimer: What I am talking about in this article has nothing to do with conversations about helping your friends. If you know someone who is in deep sin or struggle, it is good to seek wisdom from someone about approaching them. That is not gossip. We should not do life alone. This article is focusing on when those conversations go beyond the sphere of kindness and love. If you do not really care about that person or then take the topic to 5 of your other friends … your heart might not be in the right place. Again, if those friends deeply know and care about that person, that is different. But, typically, we take other people's sin/struggles and we turn it into entertainment: that is my point.

Have you ever been with your friends/family and just talked about other people? People that you aren't even really close to. You talk about that mistake they made or about the help that they need to get. You claim that you really care about where their heart is or about how they are doing spiritually or you say oh, I am just venting. You and your team of problem solvers, however, do not seem to need any help. In fact, gossiping about others is actually helping them get further in life, right? Can you relate to this a little bit? Do you want to admit that you relate to this? Whether or not you feel convicted by this: it is wrong to gossip in any form (James 4:11, Leviticus 19:16). This kind of gossip quickly turns into judgment. You begin deciding who people are, what they deserve, and they don't get a say at all. Forget God's judgment; you have it all figured out.

I like to call this Christian gossip and groupthink. The groupthink comes in when there are 2 or more people gossiping about a certain person or situation. You all don't listen to the Holy Spirit but instead agree with everyone else, even if you know the conversation is wrong. You join in because gossip and judgment are like drugs in the body, as it says in Proverbs 18:8, "The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body." This is something we need to talk about more, especially in the church. Why is it suddenly okay to gossip when it is about someone's sin or their heart's intentions? That is not your place to talk about, unless you are apart of the direct solution or the direct problem (see disclaimer). We don't want to gossip with our secular friends (lets be honest though, we still do this) but when it comes to our Christian groups we let it all unleash. It is very heavy to think about. In an article titled 2 Reasons Why Christians Gossip from crosswalk.com the author puts it like this:

"Our problem is that: (1) we take ourselves too seriously and (2) we don't take God seriously enough."

It is true. We take ourselves way too seriously. Take that big ole plank out of your eye before going around and plucking specks out of the eyes of others (This phrase is referring to Matthew 7:1-29 when Jesus is telling people not to judge one another). Is God not big enough to handle the situation? Fellow Christian, where is our trust in the creator of the world? Where is our belief that He can do all things? Where is our belief that He knows all things? The truth is that we simply cannot read minds and we don't always have all the facts. Even if we do, what difference will we make by gossiping about people? God's people. We need to take a step back in these moments and pray to Jesus for guidance. Repent your sinful desires to Him and ask why you are joining the gossip. Is your heart okay? Are you struggling so much that you need to talk about others to fill a void that only Jesus can fill? Dear sister/brother, talk to your Father because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Do not choose the drug that is gossip. Love is the greatest commandment (Matt. 22:36-38).

To conclude, I say all this not to condemn but to share my own weakness with you. This is a very big sin of mine. I have hurt people this way. I have let gossip go too far and it has killed some of my deepest friendships. It is not in my own power to save myself but the hands of my gracious God. There is grace for us dear friends.. there is only more grace for us (see the gospel tab).

Prayer: Praise God for His grace and kindness upon you from the cross. Ask God to forgive you for slandering his creation, attempting to play His role as the all-knowing creator, and seeking comfort in something other than Himself. Thank him for giving you a tongue to speak life and ask Him for the ability to use only kind words.

Verse: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

- Ephesians 4:29

Article: https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/dont-be-gossip-the-parasites-host-organism.html